It looks like life's going to be getting a bit harder..

I had actually written this yesterday, but hadn't finished setting my blog up.

I've been waiting all day, to finally get the chance to sit down, and get all of these thoughts that are running through my head out. But, as I sit here, I really don't know where to start.

Two days ago, our lives were turned upside down. Or, that's the way it feels. I took Avery to the doctor for a simple follow up appointment for his reflux medicine. Or, so I had thought anyways. I was so excited to hear that my exclusively breastfed baby had gained almost 5 lbs already, at only seven weeks old!! Like usual, Shannon went on about how absolutely adorable Avery was, and how he was the spitting image of his daddy. But, I noticed that she kept going back to the top of his head, with a thoughtful look on her face.  She then told me, that we would have to increase the dosage of Avery's reflux medicine, because of how much weight he had gained. 

Next came the bad news. She told me that Avery's soft spot was smaller than it should be. I already knew what this could mean. Having heard of Craniosynostosis before. It took everything in me to keep myself composed, as I sat there,holding Avery,my eyes glued on him, and listening to her talk.  She told me, that she wanted me to take him over to Arnot Hospital to have an xray done right away. I was so scared at that point. I some how managed to walk through the doctors office, get Avery in the car,and myself in the car  before I broke down in tears. I called his daddy to tell him the news. I think he had to stop me, and calm me down about five times before I could get it out. Sometimes his laidback calm approach really bothers me. How he can keep himself so composed all of the time is beyond me..But more often than not, it helps bring me back together. Once I was calm again, I drove us to the hospital. The girls who did his Xrays, were amazing. They quickly got them done, and told me that I would get the results by the end of the day. Even though it only took a few hours, it seemed to have taken forever. When the pediatrician called, she told me that the xrays showed premature fusing of the bones in Avery's skull. She wanted a ct scan done, first thing in the morning, to confirm it. 

The next day, Brandi and I took Avery for his ct. I think the scan lasted less than a minute. But, his doctor wanted us to wait. So that they could read her the results with us on site. After about forty five minutes, a woman came out and told me that the pedi was on the phone, and she would like to talk to me.She told me that the ct was positive, And that Avery had Sagittal Craniosynotosis. She kept telling me how sorry she was. That I had only come in for a simple appointment, and she felt so bad that she blindsided us with this. They referred us to a neurosurgeon at Strong Memorial in Rochester Ny. So for now, all that's left to do is wait. The earliest open appointment is not until May 8th. Avery is however, top on the list if someone cannot make it to their appointment.

I feel like our world has been completely rocked. As much as I am positive that Avery will be okay, this is very scary. Nobody wants to be told that ANYTHING is wrong with their child. To have to wonder how "normal" their life will be? To have to think of all of the hopes and dreams you have for them, and how far away they seem to be now. But especially to have to think of my sweet 12 lb baby who is only seven weeks old facing such an intense and scary operation. I do know, that my little boy is a fighter though, He is loved by so many people. And I have no doubt, that in the end of this he will come out on top.

I've been talking to an amazing woman, who has been through this with her baby boy (the same age as my daughter Kayleigh, we met online on a birth board while pregnant for our babies) She is such a godsend. She has given me so much information already (and it's only been two days!!) She has also put me in touch, with another cranio mommy. I am so thankful for these two women, and all of the other people we have in our corner. <3